To Name A Rodent
by Vilfaras
Summary: ME3 setting, rated for language. Kaidan meets the space hamster for the first time.


"Son of a bitch?" Kaidan gave Shepard a look that was a cross between amusement and disbelief. He watched as the corner of her mouth twitched and her eyes glared at the ball of fur in his hands.

"I'm not exactly good at naming things, you know." Shepard grumbled. "It tried to bite me the first time I was going to clean its cage and the name stuck since. Plus I didn't have time to think of one." She threw the bedding from the cage into a rubbish bag and proceeded to clear the food and water bowl as well.

Kaidan let out a chuckle and rubbed the hamster's head. 'Son of a bitch', as Shepard called him, dipped its head into his hand and snuggled against his curled fingers, looking contented and warm. From the corner of his eye he saw Shepard's death glare at the small creature. He almost burst out laughing.

Commander Shepard was jealous of a hamster.

Who would have ever thought that to be possible?

"I didn't think you'd be the type to own pets, let alone onboard a ship, Shepard."

Shepard missed the smirk that was forming on his lips and walked into the bathroom with the cage in her arms as she replied, "It was Joker's fault." He followed her with the hamster still in his palm; he continued stroking the fur ball with a finger absentmindedly. Shepard continued, "He kept saying that I could never keep anything alive after my fifth batch of fishes died." She started scrubbing the cage in the sink.

"Fifth?" Kaidan's brows rose slightly at that.

Her lips formed into a thin line at that and she narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't ask. I'll just say that they die too easily." Shepard nodded at the hamster. "Then Joker decided to take the risk and got me that."

Kaidan chuckled. "So he decided that it was worth endangering an innocent's life to prove his point?"

Shepard sighed dramatically, and continued with the cleaning. "Well, proved him wrong in the end. Bugger's still pretty much alive, as you can see. I think he's getting fatter too. I should cut down on his food."

He smiled and leaned against the door frame. Earlier on he had walked into her cabin to find her cursing and holding her hand to her chest. 'Son of a bitch' had tried to take a chunk off her finger when she reached in to extract the small animal.

Surprisingly, the hamster took to him like a charm. When he offered to help Shepard and reached into the cage to coax the small animal out from its hiding space, it came out, nose twitching and sniffing, and put its front paws on his finger; its beady black eyes studying him curiously.

Shepard had the most deadly look on her face when he lifted her pet out of the cage without incident.

Kaidan looked at the hamster in his palm and contemplated a little. "He needs a name. You can't just keep calling it 'Son of a bitch'."

"_He?_" Shepard looked up from the sink with wide eyes. "You're getting attached, Alenko."

"He's cute, and he looks like a he. I think I see something there." He held out the hamster and pointed at a spot. Shepard snorted loudly.

"That's his tail, Kaidan."

He grabbed one of the hamster's legs gently and looked properly. The small creature squeaked in protest and squirmed.

"Oh." Kaidan let the tiny leg go and nearly dropped the small cargo when it decided to nip his hand in protest. "Hey, that hurts!"

"See why he's called Son of a bitch?" Shepard hadn't even bothered to spare him a glance. "Mean set of teeth, that thing has."

He chuckled quietly to himself and wrapped his hand gently around the hamster to hold it in place and to stop it from squirming while his other hand resumed with stroking its head. After a while, the critter calmed down and started cleaning its face with its front paws.

"Here." He held the hamster out to her. Shepard shot him a horrified look and backed slightly.

"What?"

He took one of her hands and nodded at the hamster. "Hold him."

Shepard retracted her hand almost immediately, but Kaidan held onto her wrist. "Are you crazy, Alenko? He's always tried to bite me whenever I go near him."

Aha. She had called the hamster 'him' instead of 'it'. It was an improvement, so he tried again and pulled her hand towards him. "Come on, trust me on this. You just have to be gentle with him and not send out such a murderous aura, that's why he tries to bite. It's just a defence mechanism. " _Just like how you are with him, actually._ But he kept that thought to himself.

She glared at him and the hamster apprehensively.

"If he bites me again, you can have him, Kaidan, since he appears to like you so much." She declared.

"We'll see." He chuckled and placed the rodent lightly in her outstretched and open palm.

Shepard gave a small gasp of surprise when the hamster just sat quietly on her hand and looked at her with inquiring eyes, making no move to destroy her hand like some rabid piranha.

"Oh my God, Kaidan. What do you have? Magic hands? He has never allowed me near him." She looked at the hamster with pure fascination and lifted her other hand to stroke its head. 'Son of a bitch' closed his eyes at that and looked contented. Kaidan watched as Shepard's frown slowly developed into a delighted smile.

"Well?" Kaidan grinned.

"Well what?" Shepard looked up.

"His new name?"

"What's wrong with 'Son of a bitch'?"

"Shepard..."

"Oh fine." Shepard handed the hamster back to him and pulled a rag from the shelf. She proceeded to dry the cage, glancing at the hamster in his hand occasionally. Kaidan could tell she was thinking for real this time round and waited patiently for her to make up her mind.

Joker had actually told him about the hamster's existence during one of their conversations, and about how Shepard spent almost 2 hours in the lower deck trying to catch it after EDI had notified her, but Kaidan had just arrived on the Normandy and he still didn't know where they both of them stood then, so he hadn't made the effort to visit her privately in her quarters to take a look until now. Things had improved after several missions and talks together.

It was also endearing to him to see the way Shepard behaved around the hamster. As much resentment and aloofness she projected towards it, he could tell she'd actually liked the critter, and her earlier delight at having being able to hold it was proof of that.

"Boo." Her voice brought him out of his reverie.

"Huh?"

"We can call him Boo. My mum had a dog named Boo when she was a kid." Shepard looked serious as she poured fresh bedding into the cage.

"Huh." He looked at her and took note that she had said 'we'. He felt a small flutter of hope in his chest. "Nice name."

Shepard held the cage out to him and gestured for him to put Boo back into it. Kaidan did as he was told and after Shepard had finished replenishing the water and food bowls and placed the cage back to its usual spot on the shelves; Kaidan leaned in and peered through the glass.

Beady black eyes stared back him.

"Nice to meet you, Boo."

This was written for Galleywinter. It's unbeta-ed so please do forgive any mistakes that are in here. _


End file.
